Breaking News from FOX

This just in from Houston: Following Saturday afternoon's game against the Cardinals, Roger Clemens made history. Steve Lyons reports Roger Clemens shit a gold brick. "I've never seen or smelled anything like it in all my years being around the game," quipped Lyons. "It was just another brilliant example of Clemens greatness."
Kevin Kennedy was quick to agree. "Saint Roger's shit just is wonderful. I mean, 14-karat gold, but what else would you expect out of The Chosen One."
Added Bob Brenly, "You know, I've always had a crush on Roger and I can't hold it in anymore...Roger, if you're listening and your wife we just showed a network record twenty-six times during the game doesn't mind, would you like to come up to my room later? I know in this profession we should try not to express our true feelings, but I can't hold it in anymore. I love you Roger."
tkn2 will report as we receive more information. Stay tuned.